girls do fart.

sometimes all day, actually. they also poop, and I have to at this time.

"When I get that feelin' . . ."

I never went to bed, and that sucks, but at least I had my sister's flailing limbs and sleep-TALKING to keep me company. As I lay here, however, I have just finished listening to Marvin Gaye's 'Sexual Healing' and made a discovery. Towards the ending of the song--as it slowly fades out, he blurts "PLEASE don't procrastinate . . . I might have to masturbate." Seriously, Marvin? I mean, I totally get that you were a horn dog, but to express such perversion via song takes it a bit far--even in this sad, twisted era. ¡WEPA!

[baby] barf

I need more showers in my life, I really do. That is all.

Enough is literally enough.

1. I'm glad we've reconnected after not having seen each other since the seventh grade, but that doesn't mean I want to marry--or even date you. "I'd make you my wife if I could" is flattering, but quickly gets creepy the second time around (and once I've already awkwardly laughed the first one off). I'm really not trying to be a nasty wench, but will be straight up with you if I find myself romantically interested. Honesty is one of the sexiest qualities in the world, and I thoroughly admire those with enough backbone to tell me like it is, however, a far-too-forward casual friend makes me uncomfortable.

2. The Elementary days were even longer ago, and it's great to have encountered each other on facebook, but I really don't know when you can visit me. Perhaps the next time you're in Florida? Please don't take my friendly conversation for anything more. There are no underlying meanings within, and I am not trying to lead you on. You can visit, and we can be friends, and we can hang out.

3. "I bet you're really passionate in bed" unsettles me, and I am not intrigued by your overly-sexed tactics. To be completely honest, here, you're crossing a line solely allotted for my husband (if God so chooses to grant me one), and disrespecting me in the process. I will always and forever equate sex with sacred love. You're a dirty-minded buffoon.

For now, and to avoid unwanted conflict, I've left the responses to your messages here for you to take in. I don't think myself better than anyone, but am asking for common courtesy and respect.

If you don't give a flying fark about this blog, I can't say I didn't respond.

v2.0

Within the span of only a few days; I've already managed to lose six pounds. I feel fantastic. Go me.

"See these ice cubes? See these ice creams?"

I remember the day an ignorant white boy cursed me out and called me "nigger-looking" in the same breath. It hurt my feelings, because no one should regularly use the word "nigger" in everyday conversation.