I'm confused

These efftarded IM conversations are brought to you by OkCupid:

wow you are only 22?

[5:21:17 pm]greenmeister79:even 40 year old Women cannot sometimes lack the maturity that you seem to display at this young age

[5:27:58 pm]hiyosilveraway:Thanks, kind sir. (not that above sentence was worded correctly)

[5:28:22 pm]greenmeister79:jeesus..did you just "sir" me

[5:29:00 pm]hiyosilveraway:I do believe so.

[5:29:25 pm]greenmeister79:bad girl! am gonna spank you for that

[5:29:27 pm]greenmeister79::)

[5:31:21 pm]hiyosilveraway:Um, no thanks.



May I get your honest opinion on something? If not its ok

[6:13:15 pm]hiyosilveraway:Okay

[6:13:50 pm]bsktballer357:doe senis size matter?

[6:14:03 pm]hiyosilveraway:What's a senis?

[6:14:13 pm]bsktballer357:penis

Tabasco

I don't think a woman should be frowned upon for wanting to experiment with another woman.

censorship v2.0

I really need to stop cursing when heated, because Jesus probably didn't.

icky, icky, poo.

I've got what feels like an upper-respiratory infection, and am wishing I didn't have to wait until mid-September for health insurance (I mean, I'm still thrilled about it . . . but dang). My lungs are seemingly harboring nasty-tasting bouts of PHLEGM, and the hacking all but completely robs me of sleep--that and the stuffy nose, sore throat, chills, and fevers. I NEED AMOXICILLIN . . . even though it makes me run to the potty.

reboot

Work's been great, thus far, and there are lots of fresh faces. I've several new teachers to work with in the Pre-K department, and have enjoyed further getting them acquainted to New Frontier. I'm hopeful that we'll thrive as a team, and look forward to an exciting year. I do miss Chris Kelly, though. I mean, seriously, even I secretly considered him eye-candy. I'm typically not (as in, at all) into muscle-bound dudes of any kind, but the Denn John Pool trip caught me off guard. He should have kept his darn shirt on.

shiny, happy, fits of rage.

I see the confederate flag way too often for my liking around these parts. That and monster trucks. Muddy, backwoods, monster trucks.

"will sing for coins."

I really wouldn't mind finding someplace to sing regularly on weekends for extra money. A sista's gotta finish paying her way through school.

"When I jerk away from holding hands with you, I know these habits hurt important parts of you."

In the mechanical world of "online dating," I'm prime rib surrounded by voraciously-ravenous vultures. "Searching" for a mate personally feels unnatural, and I simply don't comfortably know how. In light of the realization that I may very well be alone for the rest of my allotted Earthly time, however; I went ahead and gave a couple free dating websites a whirl, and signed up under the moniker 'hiyosilveraway'. As a result of the former, I subjected myself to two inboxes full of incompetent poor grammar, opposing beliefs regarding how to get to Heaven, ignorance, and uninteresting bouts of information. PlentyOFF-ish was downright frightening, and OkStupid (though equipped with more frequent attractive faces) is nearly as discouraging. In the midst of the hard work and seemingly-endless "searching," I've become jaded and indifferent. Additionally--not a one supposed potential seems to accurately grasp my complete need for friendship before the possibility of anything more, and it's disheartening. I'm not going to positively respond if you're a complete stranger telling me how sexy you think I am, nor will I particularly care to be your friend. The majority of nearby "men" I've encountered also consider pre-marital sex a healthy requirement for romantic relationships, and I currently do not. Knowing it's right upon the onset of stopped time and going for it is one thing, but expecting it after a few months is another. Above any other personal opinion regarding sex, I think it indescribably sacred and emotional. I am aware that roughly ninety-five or so percent of twenty-somethings are doing it, but I am not roughly ninety-five or so percent of twenty-somethings. I am a girl--tightly-grasping onto remained remnants of a possibly-skewed notion of true love, and thoroughly hoping for a win--whatever acceptable way that happens.

Haha, I found this amusing: http://www.okstupid.net/

I know what love is not.

Don't ever let a guy pressure and guilt you into being felt up to the point that your natural curiosity seals the deal. That is not love, and you are worth so much more.

guilt

So, today, mom sent me and Bianca to Twisty Cone to get her and Roger some frozen goodies. Upon handing me their written order, she suggested I get something for all the hard work I've been doing. Now I usually turn ice cream down anyway (in lieu of the intolerance), but not this time. I ordered creamy vanilla ice cream wedged between two medium-sized chocolate chip cookies, and ate about half of it. Now my stomach is gassy, and all I can think about is jumping on the treadmill. I'm ashamed of having consumed such a delectable treat, and want to burn it off. I now know that the key to weight loss and maintenance is to burn more calories (or just as much) as I consume, but remain leery of unhealthy foods. I no longer see fattening treats as a viable option to fill voids, and don't want to ever retreat to old emotional-eating ways. Snacking was the coping mechanism I knew I needed to change, but now I'm looking for a happy medium. Some of the best advice I've ever received is that it's alright to splurge, every now-and-then.

classic

free-associative thoughts, and such

More than ready to delve into the phantasmagoric world of novice photography, and totally itching to take a couple classes. I know nothing about photography, and want a Nikon D3000. Can't wait! Work starts back up on the 16th, and I am pretty eager to get back into the swing of things. I'm hoping to stay with mom or grandma (preferably mom, as I HATE living in Kissimmee, Orlando, and St. Cloud) and putting thought into doubling my car payments to be done in half the time. My car is great, but currently hinders my ability to seek out and rent an apartment on my own. I could do it with a roommate, but I've yet to encounter a decent potential. There's great difficulty in finding a responsible adult (whom I can trust) ready to move on in with me. I'll be re-enrolling for a class or two come January, and won't be stopping until I receive my bachelor's. I've decided to finally major in Elementary Ed. (and will later gain certification in the Secondary sector [preferably English]). While in school, my place of employment--New Frontier Academy--will give me the experience and student teaching I'll need in order to venture out and find a public school to work for. I honestly never thought I'd be making such dashing money (with benefits) at such a young age, and am more than thankful to God for that. He's answering my prayers with time, and is allowing me to gain complete independence. I must have things together in order to function as I eventually want to, and can no longer postpone my progress. Once school and my time at New Frontier Academy are over, I'll probably be looking to move to the Midwest. God willing, I'll find a good public school to work for (I've already some in mind) a suitable apartment [and, later,] home (OVER THE MOON about potentiality to HOUSE HUNT in a cityyyyyyyy). Sometime after that, I'd like to go into ministry and travel certain parts of the world to do some missionary work and teach whatever else. Grad school is also a goal, but it's all about the baby steps.

p.s. losing ten pounds has been one of the greatest things I've done for myself in a while, and I feel FABOSH! It's always good to be lean and healthy, and I'm doing it to better suit my frame. Thank. You. Jesus.

So, I've realized

That 'Stayin' Alive' by The Bee Gees is thoroughly my lifelong theme song. I've others, of course, but this particular song follows me everywhere. The beat matches my stride, accentuates my swag, and immediately forces others nearby to feverishly dance a perfectly-choreographed dance routine with me.